R&B Resurrection 2.0: I've Never Been Happier to Be Wrong

A few weeks ago I expressed my feelings on R&B music. It's rich and illustrious history, its ebbs and flows and its unfortunate demise. And then at the end of my whole shpeel I predicted that R. Kelly's "Write Me Back" would be R&B's great redemption song. That if the genre were to have a great Jesus-like resurrection than Mr. Twelve-Play himself, would be its defibrillator. Well...while R.'s latest was indeed everything I predicted to be, a rich lush trip through the R&B history books; a full retrospective of R&B spanning the last 50 years of the genre with tracks that lent an ear to everything from doo-wop to Jackie Wilson, James Brown's funky-soul to steppin' groove similar to TP-2. But unfortunately, it looks like relieving oneself on a 16 year old (allegedly) really does kill your street cred with today's youth. However, and maybe ironically, what the man who spent the last couple of years Trapped In The Closet couldn't do; very well may have been by the young man, who recently came out of one.

Frank Ocean's debut album "channel ORANGE" was released to iTunes at midnight on Tuesday July 10 (a week early from its initial release date and still the date for the physical version of July 17) following his very first television performance on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Beyond a hauntingly beautiful performance so rich in its simplicity; and the second single from the album ("Bad Religion"), Frank, with some help from the Roots, may have introduced to the true face of the next generation of R&B.

Unlike R. Kelly's "Write Me Back" which speaks toward Don Cornelius' Soul Train, Ocean's Def Jam debut "channels" Terrance & Rocsi's 106 & Park; yet does so in a way that generates its own lane completely separate from the Chris Browns, Ushers and Ne-Yos that one might try to compare him to at first glance. "channel ORANGE" reminds the listener that it's not just a two-letter acronym, but that R&B actually has a meaning; that it actually stands for something. That being rhythm & BLUES!

It's D'Angelo's "Voodoo" without the misogynistic undertones. Maxwell's "BLACKsummer's Night" on a well laced joint. Each track flows and fits together perfectly. And yet, each song carries a personality strong enough to stand on its own merits without needing its predecessor or successor to validate its purpose.

While iTunes lists the album as "POP", "ORANGE" is Shrek-like in its layers. A mash-up of jazz, pop, soul, hip-hop and R&B in its youth, running through a city of flashing phosphorescent lights at 3 AM while freely rolling on the purest Molly imaginable. "channel ORANGE" is the bastard baby brother of Prince, A Tribe Called Quest and Tony Toni Tone. Conceived on a alcohol fueled night Mama and Daddy decided to celebrate the youngest of his elder brothers finally flying from the nest for college. Over the course of 18 tracks, a 24 year old, recently out bi-sexual young man, explores and explains the depths of love, loss, lust and longing with more honesty and realism than I, his professional peers or any of R&B's elder statesmen have been able to in years.

Frank's slowed, yet not screwed, vocal style keep the songs driven by drum and bass break beats and simplified repetitive synth pads different from the "easy-Mac" rendition of "club bangers" released by some of his Pop&B contemporary counter parts. Between the grounded vocal melodies, effortlessly blending in with the bright bouncing synths of songs like "Thinkin' Bout You" and "Pyramid" an aurally visual Jackson Pollack effect is created. I found myself closing my eyes midway through these tracks only to see a mosh pit of colors clashing and collaborating on a unifying canvas to create a clear, even if only momentarily, bit of beauty of a seemingly chaotic mess. The electronic jazz piano driven "Sweet Life" and "Crack Rock" hint at influence of early Musiq Soulchild, but with a sense of futilistic frustration that only exist in youth. "Super Rich Kids", which has one of the few features on the album and the only feature with one of Ocean's OFWGKTA cohorts (the elusive Earl Sweatshirt) may very well be the anthem for a generation growing up admiring the likes of the Kardashians, reality television superstars and Gossip Girl. An anti-storybook tale of the pains that come along with given all the material things a youth could want with out the intangibles that come from a complete family/parental structure.

Sidenote: I haven't seen a crew use each other's projects to set up the next man this well since Wu-Tang. Odd Future begot Tyler, who begot Frank who (be)got me ready for this Earl Sweatshirt record whenever it drops

John Mayer's understated guitar riffs on "White", become far more breathtaking as a minimalistic transition between tracks, than any savant-like jazz guitar shredder lick he could've laid down, if he really wanted to. And even Andre 3000 shows up on one of the albums standouts "Pink Matter" laying down a verse that makes you secretly deep down HATE 3 stacks (no poetic prose here, his verse is just so damn good that you become pissed that he's still out here pushing razors instead of making music). Dre's verse is like a lyrical spirit guide. He forces you to voluntarily follow him to the edge of a cliff (you think you're in his lyrical shadow by choice, when realistically you're tugging on his cape, like a little kid begging to be taken with him...and he knows it) and just when you start to get into the depth of his word play, he seems to abruptly cut off his verse mid-bar. As if, now that he's gotten you to the ledge, he immaculately varnished wings and flew off said precipice leaving your feet planted firmly in the ground, watching him disappear into the horizon leaving you with no means to follow, regardless of how much you internally beg him to come back and help you get to where he's going. (ok I lied about the flowery prose; but seriously his verse is SICK!)

"Monks" sounds the most similar to the beautifully crafted Grand Theft Audio that was his mixtape "Nostalgia, ultra". Ocean's version of a dance party anthem comes with a vocal melody that feels like it was pulled off a lost demo for Ryan Leslie's "Transition" album. While at the same time the production matches that of N.E.R.D. "Fly or Die" era Pharrell; all the while carrying a lyrical weight all Frank's own; one filled with an arrogance and brashness based in a deep rooted sense of insecurity.

The 9+ minute opus, "Pyramid", somehow evenly plays out the duality of man's fantasy without seeming trite. In the first half he details the desire for a Cleopatra; invoking the oft-used analogy of a man's mate being his queen, while not actually spelling this out, and in fact hinting that he very well may want one that can control his "empire" for him. While on the back end of the very same track, he seamlessly twists and turns his romantic conquest and political equal into the epitome of his personal sexual goddess (read: hot ass stripper) in a track that I can guarantee will be played in the Champagne Room of EVERY strip club in America.

(courtesy of frankocean.net)

But, possibly the biggest and stand-out tracks on the album are "Forest Gump" and the aforementioned "Bad Religion". Songs whose "controversial" nature would've easily overshadowed the greatness of this piece of art, prior to Ocean's impassioned and heart-felt letter announcing his truth to the World, and perhaps more importantly the hip-hop (read: black) community now have the ability to become spring boards, for conversation, understanding and hopefully not just tolerance but true and honest acceptance of the LGBT community. Especially given Ocean's debut on Fallon on Tuesday night. We were able to watch this young man go through the full gambit of emotions as he paced slightly around the stage, as if he fully understood and felt the weight of the moment he was in. Refusing to hide behind a stationary mic stand (which would've been easy to do with a ballad like "Bad Religion"); we watch has he fidgeted with his arms and hands, treating his mic the way Digger Phelps treats a felt-tipped highlighter. We saw in his face a full gambit of emotion from nervous, to frightened, to reassured, to triumphant, to relieved as he crooned the words "I could never make him love me" to a National televised audience. Just as the song put his emotions toward not being on the requited side of unrequited love; Frank put himself on display to be judged not just as an artist, but as a man and role model; and in doing so exhibited a bravery seen by only the rarest of humans. He allows these two songs to delve deeper than the sex of its characters and into their truths. His ability to describe the feeling of being the scratched and scuffed side of Two-Face's double-headed coin that is "love" speaks beyond sexual orientation, race or age and instead to the genuine pain of being the only character in a fairy tale romance. His lyrical content, in "Bad Religion" especially, speaks beyond sex(uality) into the deeper notions of want. The want, to be loved. The want, to be desired. The want, to be seen as both an emotional God and physical whore. Simultaneously. Without fear or judgement for choosing to embrace either. He's allowing us to gain a first hand experience into a life and lifestyle we all know, yet refuse to acknowledge as real; and for this he should be commended.

I don't know what this means for his career. We could be seeing his "Songs In the Key of Life" or we could've just been given "The Miseducation of Frank Ocean"; only he, God, and maybe Tyler the Creator, know the answer. But I do know one thing. "channel ORANGE" is easily the album of 2012, but more importantly, it may possibly be the album of a generation.

Peace Up! Peace Out!

Sad But True Trey Songz and I Have Something In Common (Other Than 6-Pac Abs)

I like to think I am an evolved man. Someone who is openly sensitive to the plight and struggle of others (especially other minorities, whether they be based on gender, race, sexual orientation, or enjoyment of "Call Me Maybe" and "Boyfriend" while being straight males over the age of 13). And it is with that, that I am both shocked and a bit saddened at how much I freakin' love Trey Songz's new single "2 Reasons".

Now you may say, "Ken what is there to a shamed about for liking a catchy, up beat, danceable club anthem like '2 Reasons'?" In theory nothing, but it's the actuality that really grinds my gears. I openly consider myself to be somewhat of a lyric snob. One who will analyze and re-analyze the prose of a song gaining just as much enjoyment from their poetry, as I do from knowing that a girl will be able to grind and wind her hind-parts against me with great veracity from its' rhythms. And it is with the snobbishness that I find myself sullen, at my enjoyment of a song whose chorus is no more than a repeat of "Bitches and the Drinks".

Surely I, a refined man of the 21st Century, can't find such great joy in two-stepping to such a misogynistic record? Surely, Trey who came to us initially just "Tryin to Make It" looks for venues that offer more than just these two ambiance builders?

But, then I thought to myself...

"Self, isn't possible that you have had an internal monologue along the lines of 'Sure this bottle of Bud Light cost you $17 dollars, but DAMN!!! Look at all the phat asses in here' or even 'Yes, a good majority of the females in this not so fine establishment look like a cross between Jamie Foxx's Wanda and Martin Lawrence's Shenaynay characters, but these 3 for 1 well drinks, special is off the chain!'" (and yes, my inner monologue still talks like its 2001). Am I too a victim of attending clubs, bars, lounges and other night spopts strictly for the Bitches AND/OR Drinks?

It would appear so.

But as I said, I am a sophisticated man who is both scholar AND gentleman, and will not allow my "Coon Tune" (more on this later) loving innards allow me to debase my feminine counterparts. So, from hence forth I shall treat the chorus of Trey Songz' "2 Reasons" like white kids treat the word "Nigger" in their favorite rap song. Depending on the number of ladies in my vicinity I will either, mumble it under my breath OR change the lyric all together; maybe "Wimminz and the Drinks" or "Females and the Drinks" or how about "Beaches and the Drinks" -- see now its a song about tropical vacations. Nevertheless no longer shall I subject my surroundings to such vulgarities.

Unless of course there's no wimminz around me when it comes on. Then I'm turning that shit up to ignant levels and singin' it at the top of my lungs; cause that record GOES!!!

Peace up! Peace out!

R&B Resurrection

With the release of Usher Raymond's newest (to little or no fan fare) album "Looking 4 Myself", I'm officially putting R&B's obituary one sentence closer to being complete. Let me start by saying that 1) this is NOT an album review (I hate those things, if for no other reason than music is maybe the most objective art forms there is - second only to maybe...art. 2) I actually completely enjoy the album, and think it's his best one as a whole since 2004's Confessions. This is more so about what this album symbolizes, than the actual album itself. And what does this album symbolize, Ken (I'm sure that's what you were just asking yourself)? The unofficial death of the R&B genre.

While Usher's latest presents a quality mix of club and bedroom bangahs, I was hoping that the Euro-dance pixie dust that seemed to be doused on Usher by David Guetta would've officially worn off by now. That maybe, the record's first single "Scream" was just the "last bump" before Usher jumped back into the rehab of "baby making music" for this album. But unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be the case. Even the tracks that carry the strength of a classic R&B vocal melody, are washed over in dub-step style "build and drop" production. Even half the ballads, exist in a world where a double timed back beat holds the track emotionally hostage. And doesn't let the song emote the way former hits like "Burn" and "Confessions" once did.

But it's not just Usher, over the last 5-10 years we've seen the would be kings of Rhythm and Blues give way to the newest production craze of European DJ/Producers filling in for the once oft-used hip-hop producer to create the musical back bone for the likes of our modern urban crooners. Along with Usher's obvious recent transition, Chris Brown went from "Yo" to "Yeah 3x", and Jason Derulo is electro-popping 80's already electro-synth pop as his samples. Even the ones we looked toward continuing to carry the torch once held by Smokey Robinson and Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds because of their ability to write great R&B records for others have slowly given in to the "dub-side" (slowly cranes neck toward The Dream and Ne-Yo). It's to a point now, where the closest thing we have to an R&B star is Trey Songz, and if you've been payin attention to him lately, he thinks he's a damn rapper now.

Sidenote: REALLY?!? You're gonna start callin' yourself Trigger Trey? Really? Trigger? Man...go sit yo' "LOL :)" ass down somewhere.

So what do we do now? R&B seems to be drafting its last will & testament, and calling for a priest to read him his last rights. Well I was always taught that you don't bring up a problem with already having solutions handy; so lets look at some positives. For what its worth there are a few cuts off the new Usher record that fit right in line with what you'd expect from the old pre-cougar stylist marrying, post-cougar R&B group member dating Usher; "Twisted" a funky 60's inspired dance number featuring Pharrell that sounds like something that didn't make the final track listing for the last Raphael Saadiq album; as well as "Dive" which sounds like it's the missing back end to Raymond vs Raymond's "There Goes My Baby". So it's possible, depending on how this album is received, that Usher is still willing and able to provide his "Yeah" loving masses some of that R&B fiyah.

Then of course there are the artists out there (male and female) that still fight the good fight. Artists like Jill Scott, Musiq Soulchild, Robin Thicke, Raheem DeVaugn, Anthony Hamilton, Alicia Keys and John Legend that still put in the work to keep R&B relevant beyond a the select group of afro and dread heads that occupy Philly, Harlem and Chicago. But realistically (read: skeptically) those artists more often than not get grouped in as "soul artists" and no matter what rapper(s) they align themselves with they'll never reach the popularity of the artists I mentioned at the beginning.

Hell, I'm thinking maybe we are doomed. I mean not even Brian McKnight's "adult mixtape" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbVQZqCjoOs)could bring folks back around.(BTW let's be honest, that song still sounds dope. He changes the word "pussy" to "love" its played every night on The Quiet Storm NIGHTLY). But then again, maybe there is one last hope. One final act of desperation us classic R&B fans can cling to. Maybe we still have the ability to reach back and pull off one last Flutie-esque musical hail mary. And what can this final saving grace be? Who can be R&B's Gregory House, who figures out that what had always been assumed to be a fatal case of sarcoidosis is in fact just a random strain of gonorrhea that can be cleared up with a simple case of rare Brazilian penicillin? It'd be the same man that started this slow death that took us from the singing gangsters of the late 90's to the Diplo derived world we live in today. The one. The only. Robert Kelly!!!

Now that he's no longer trapped in that damn closet, and stopped wearing those damn Zorro masks maybe, just maybe, he'll come back to us. We need it. I NEED IT!!! I can no longer just listen to Boyz II Men "On Bended Knee" and their covers of "Misty Blue" and "I Can't Make You Love Me" records for sustenance (by the way their cover album Love is so good its just fucked up. The harmonies they employ on their cover Goo Goo Dolls' "Iris" is so evil toward Johnny Resnik; its essentially the vocal equivalent of porn star Lexington Steele jerking off in front of you and your girl, not because he's horny and can't get any, but simply because he wants to show you, and your girl, that his dick really is that big -- yea THAT disrespectfully good).

So there in lies R&B final hope for resurrection. An artist with R.'s clout with both top 40 pop and urban radio that can give us the next "Ignition" or "Bump and Grind" or "Contagious". Somebody, go get Ronald Isley on the phone, tell'em we'll let him call himself Mr. Bigg again if we'll get another in the Twelve Play series. Hell I'll even go buy him a bunch of Zorro masks if that's what he needs to give us another Chocolate Factory; otherwise, all future baby making is doomed. Help us R. Kelly, you're our only hope! (Princess Leia voice)

Good to be back America!

Peace up! Peace out!

The Once & Forever King

Hey, long time no blog. Sorry for the delay I've been a bit un-inspired as of late. I don't really like doing album reviews (I figure everyone likes or dislikes a record for various reasons my opinion shouldn't really mean a damn thing) so I wasn't gonna sit here and grade new ones from Drake, Travie McCoy, The Roots, Eminem, or Maroon 5's new single although if pressed...they're all dope. But with today June 25th being the one year anniversary of my idol's passing I all of a sudden felt the need, more importantly the want, to write something. I'm not gonna wax poetic about how great he was as a entertainer and performer, how his singing talent may be the most underrated of anyone in the modern times, or how he electrified audiences the world over (including yours truly, who's 1st concert EVER was MJ @ MSG in '89 - WHAT!) or even that I was moonwalking around family living rooms since I was 9. I figure the man had a nearly 50 year career if you don't have your own favorite "Michael Moment" then you're either A) void of all joy in your life. B) have VERY specific and absurd tastes in music. Or C) you're exactly 1 years old.

In any case I decided I was gonna throw out a Top 10 list, Letterman style as to what exactly made Michael Jackson the "King Of Pop" (and all that "self-proclaimed" stuff is bullshit, cuz everyone proclaimed that). Hopefully you all enjoy, and I know I ask for feedback from time to time, but I'd def love for you guys to throw in anyones you think I forgot (or you wanted to share anyway).

Top 10 Reason Michael Jackson was, is and always will be KING:

10) He created nothing, and innovated everything. While we all know Michael as an incredible dancer, he didn't actually invent any of his signature moves; not "The Robot", or the glides or even "The Moonwalk". But what he did do was execute these moves in a way untouchable by anyone else, to the point that their actually creators gave up ownership to MJ (this is a theme that will come up again).

9) The Jackson 4 - yea exactly! Would they be nearly as memorable if Jermaine and Tito were singing lead? I think not.

8) Motown 25. No one before or since has polarized a moment or performance the way he did that night. And certainly no one has solidify their "I HAVE ARRIVED, DAMMIT!" moment any better.

7) "He made Thriller" (Dave Chappelle voice)

6) I'm pretty sure he did more for motorcycle jackets (fashion wise) than even the Hell's Angels could do. Think about it, how many jackets were bought after "Thriller", "Beat It", "Bad"...

5) HE SHUT DOWN SMOKEY ROBINSON!!! It's a little known story, but the great singer/songwriter Smokey Robinson (of Smokey Robinson & The Miracles fame) originally wrote the song "Who's Loving You" for himself (and his group). Berry Gordy had them record it w/o Smokey's knowledge as just a demo track except...well...young Michael sang the shit out of it. Berry brought in Smokey to hear the demo (not knowing Smokey was planning to record the song himself) and after hearing the track, well we all know who ended up w/ the song. As I said in point 10, Michael innovated everything into his own, to the point where you had no choice but to call it his).

4) Usher, Justin Timberlake, Ne-Yo, Janet Jackson, Chris Brown, Ginuwine, Lenny Kravitz, Lady Gaga, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Missy Elliot, Mike Posner, Musiq, Pharell/N.E.R.D., Jay-Z, Omarion, Robin Thicke, Slash, Fall Out Boy (I could keep going but I think you get the point)

3) HE MADE THRILLER!!! (my voice) Not talkin about the song, not the music video. I'm talkin about THE WHOLE DAMN ALBUM! 9 tracks, 9 hits, 9 classics. That kinda thing is unheard of, especially in today's world of one download wonders. AN ENTIRE ALBUM?...WITH ALL HIT RECORDS?...WHAT?!?!?!

2) The one thing I can say Michael w/o question truly created was the "music movie". As MTV came to be and this new media force gained strength MJ without question took that bull by the horns, refusing to not out-do himself from "video" to "video". From the futuristic laser lights of "Rock With You", to the space show that was "Scream" and everything in between, Michael didn't release singles or music videos, he created new "EVENTS" the that held the world hostage. Then there's always "Thriller" to this day (where George Lucas and James Cameron have taken computer effects to a world that "Tron" couldn't have even computed) that mini-movie remains the greatest video of ALL-TIME (no bullshit it came on as I was typing this post and literally I completely shut down all focus, b/c of the two and a half minute dance break, Jason Derulo ain't doin that shit)

1) 4 DECADES OF GREATNESS! Not many artists in any art form can take credit in shaping and molding the youth of the World over across 4 decades. From the time he was a child dancing around with his brothers until the day he died prepping one of the biggest live concerts this world would ever know, Michael Jackson held us all by our ears and eyes. Regardless of what you thought of him on a personal note, no one could doubt his talents (as proven by the fact that after he died literally everyone that tagged him as some sort of oddball monster, immediately jumped on the we miss our genius bandwagon). MJ's legacy spans all the way to my grandmother (lookin' good in her 80's) to my mother/father, aunt's and uncles and probably biggest through me. We all have our own favorite Michael moments, from he and his brothers on The Ed Sullivan Show, to him unveiling the robot on The Jackson's performance of "Dancing Machine" on Soul Train in the 70's. From kids standing in front of TV sets like Catholics for mass from the Pope in the Vatican for the premiere of the "Thriller" video, to kids (me) gliding and moonwalking all over Bar/Bat Mitzvah whenever the DJ played "Billie Jean". From the Maculey Caulkin jokes after the brilliance of the "Black or White" video to the pop/punk covers of "Smooth Criminal" and "Beat It" by Alien Antfarm and Fallout Boy respectively. No one can question the impact Michael had no just on pop music, but pop culture. We all, artists and fans, owe him for the gifts of art he gave us during his time on this Earth. And I for one, am eternally grateful. Long Live The King!!!

Peace Up, Peace Out!

This May Cost Me All My Gay Friends (but it must be said)

Lady Gaga is not original or a trendsetter! There I said it.

"Call me a hater if you want, but mashing together 5-6 images that were controversial and original when they were first done 15 years ago, does not make you controversial or original now. Sorry!"

I tweeted this (@KAGe5242) and put this up as my FB status after I saw Lady Gaga's video for "Alejandro" for the first time this past weekend. As I say in the title of this, it may cost me every gay friend I have (and a few of my straight ones too, you know who you are I won't shout you out) but Lady Gaga isn't a trendsetter, at least not for this video. OK, maybe that's a little harsh, I should say that she's really just a trend re-setter. The video for "Alejandro" is nothing more than a regurgitation of images we've seen from the true pioneers of female pop over the last 15-20 years. I know I may sound like some crotchety old man in saying this (which is really fucked up since I'm only 2 years older than Gaga) but I can literally match Gaga's latest shot for shot with previous videos from the likes of Janet Jackson and Madonna (especially Madonna). Hell, even the song itself sounds like a lazy attempt to re-vamp Madge's "La Isla Bonita".

The video wouldn't have even bothered me that much if not for all the critical acclaim she's been gathering for it being so provocative and innovative. I've had friends tell me that they've never seen anything like it before, such jaw dropping imagery, then I show them 5 of the videos for songs that were on Madonna's "Immaculate Collection" and suddenly "Alejandro" just seems like "Alex". Some friends and critics alike have even tried to down play the similarities between this video and those prior by saying she's just paying homage and updating the looks created by the past pop divas. I can certainly understand that. Hell even Christina Aguilera's new video looks like a softcore Skinimax at 3 AM version of Madonna's "Human Nature" video, but the difference is neither the critics nor Christina are trying to claim this as groundbreaking art. And as for the notion that Gaga is updating and upgrading her predecessors, sorry to tell you but changing a cone bra to a couple of assault riffles isn't really evolution.

Look I like Gaga. I believe she's incredibly necessary for pop music especially female pop music. I find her refreshing and her style while completely random and at times fucking nuts, one thing it is not is boring, that is until now. Lady Gaga's "Alejandro" falls short plain and simple, and she's only got herself to blame (yep can't even blame the label for this one, they wanted to release "Dance in the Dark" as the single). She's continued to top her own antics from award show, to live performance, to music video. But as even Madonna and Janet found out eventually the re-invention machine eventually taps out and you're forced to resort to old tricks (and in this case their someone else's old tricks). Unfortunately for Gaga it happened before she even got to her official second album. I don't doubt that Stephanie will make a glorious come back with her sophomore release and completely mind fuck us all by coming out with an image and style more wholesome and "Girl Next Door" than Jessica Simpson's during her debut release (and really, isn't that the only way she'd be able to shock anyone at this point). But as for "Alejandro" being an innovative piece of art, I'm gonna have to disagree and call it a sad attempt at a sequel of a once great movie franchise (think Rocky V).

Peace Up, Peace Out

http://">

VH1 Hip Hop Honors: Dirty South (a retro diary)

For the past week I've been working on a post that should be quite a doozy, but it isn't quite ready yet (mainly b/c I'm trying to keep it from being a damn novel, y'all gotta be sick of that by now), in any case between birthday shots (last Friday was the big 2-6) and PS3 I came up with a great idea to take its place in the mean time, a live retro diary. Ok, it's not actually my idea, it's more of an idea I'm stealing from one of my fav. sports writers, "The Sports Guy" Bill Simmons (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/100519&sportCat=nba) but since this is about a music show and not a basketball game, I'm considering it an original idea. Since I couldn't watch the show and use this thing to give an immediate play by play of the night's festivities, I decided to take notes as I watched the 9pm - 11pm telecast, to post as one long running tagent to go along with the show moment for moment. In other words, it's a running commentary on this years attempt by VH1 to honor hip-hop's often neglected litter brother, the Dirty South. So without further delay, lets get this thang crackin, SHAWTAY!

9:00pm - As much as I love the idea, there are already some major flaws w/ VH1's Hip Hop Honors: Dirty South. 1) Should've probably taken place in ATL (it's in LA). 2) Love Craig Robinson, but a Southern comedian probably should've hosted (he's from The Southside of Chicago though so that I guess should make him a worthy host?)
*SIDENOTE: Do we really need to recognize Luke AND 2 Live Crew? I mean that's like honoring Teddy Riley AND Guy AND Blackstreet.

9:05 - Luke's running through his "pussy poppin' classics". Late 80's scrippas must be havin flash backs.

9:15 - The opening roster says they're honoring Rap-A-Lot Records outta Houston, but no Scarface?

9:20 - Totally forgot Juvenille started out on Rap-A-Lot not Cash Money.

9:21 - Irony levels at an all time high, having the hot new rapper from Toronto, Canada (Drizzy Drake) covering Pimp C's rhymes during Hip-Hop Honors for the SOUTH!

9:23 - Well thank God for these sponsors. I was a little worried this was gonna be paid for by KFC, Jared the Jeweleria and some random auto body shop. Luckily it's mainly just Taco Bell - apparently when VH1 says Dirty South they're not bullshittin'.

9:26 - Jonah Hill introduces Jermaine Dupri; reppin' for all the Bar & Bat Mitzvahs that have blasted "Welcome To Atlanta" over the last 8 years.

9:28 - JD really hasn't aged since he put out Another Bad Creation...DAMN!

9:29 - In his pre-taped interview JD just said he was "better than Def Jam"...yea, OK...Well if Dem Franchise Boys "In My White Tee" was his first signing that really made him feel like it was what the South should sound like? Then what in the blue hell took so long for you to put them out?

9:30 - DFB bouncing around the catwalk of the stage right on top of each other. JD should really tell'em they're not still doin club shows in the A.

9:32 - JD spittin "Money Ain't A Thing" (again Hov is a no show to the event, keepin the streak alive at FOREVER!). That album was trash, but that song is a lifetime classic.

9:34 - Bow Wow performing "Jump" w/ JD. Somehow they're both the exact size of Kriss Kross when that song came out.

9:36 - I know majority of the audience knows Bow Wow better, but wouldn't having Kriss Kross perform "Jump" be even bigger for nostalgia sake?

9:36 - And this is why I love Diddy. Even @ the Hip-Hop Honors: Dirty South he still figures out a way to get himself involved. Can't Stop, Won't Stop!

9:39 - Commercial for Bow Wow's upcoming movie "Lottery Ticket". Looked so good, I'm now actively anticipating his next album.

9:40 - Craig Robinson just cracked a joke on some 3rd runner-up in a Ciara look alike contest & she has NO IDEA.

9:41 - Master P's son Romeo (formerly of Lil fame) just came out to intro the No Limit General. Looks like he's been using the USC gym to get his swole on. Damn shame he didn't work on his jump shot, otherwise he might've been able to stay on the team.

9:43 - "You can't trust a theif, but you can trust a hustler" - Master P. Things that make you go "uuuuuuuuuuhhhh" (na-na na-na)

9:45 - DAMN, TARIJI P. HENSON IS FINE AS HELL!!! (she's presenting)

9:45 - Damn they brought out all the No Limit Soldiers, they even got Mystikal outta jail.

9:47 - Silk the Shocker is killing it on stage & not in a good way. Kinda wish they had Apollo's Sandman appearing.

9:48 - Silk & Trina got a combined 2 minutes on stage so that Gucci Mane could do a song NO ONE in the audience knew. (hilariously sad)

9:50 - MYSTIKAL IS STILL A BEAST!!! Who knew he would've been the saving grace for the Master P set. Someone get that man in a studio, we need a "Shake Yo Ass (part 2)" for the Summer ASAP.

9:52 - While we can all crack jokes about Master P now, no one can front on how dope No Limit was during their run (not even this music snob). Someone get me a tank chain!

9:54 - Craig Robinson just called Brady & Ray-J a "mega-talented duo". More like talent and a half.

9:55 - T.I.'s yellin & reppin' the A like he's about to go do a bid, not like he just came home from one. Damn how do they not have him performing?

9:56 - ATL representers: Gucci Mane, Bone Krusher (yea, I know, pick your jaw up & get that look off your face. I can't explain why they have him performing wither T.I. actually there for you, sorry), Yin Yang Twins (maybe one of the most underrated rap acts from ATL...ok, maybe not underrated, but they can damn sure get you party hype). ATL's line-up tonight should've been Outkast, T.I. and Ludacris - kinda failed there VH1.

10pm - Nelson George is a genius in hip-hop and urban culture, go look him up. He discussed the history of the soul of hip-hop in Atlanta, far more eloquently than any ATL rapper could.

10:02 - Dirty South slang really will confuse the "Wakka Flakka outta you".

10:04 - Timbaland up next. Probably the most deserved of tonight's honorees. Tim said he's too big to be boxed into pop and/or hip-hop genres - CHURCH!

10:05 - Something tells me the Timbaland set is gonna be a bit of a letdown. No fault of his or VH1 but he's got way too many songs, with way too many stars & they just keep showing Missy perform.

10:09 - Behind the Music: Eve, commercial just aired - little premature, wouldn't you say?

10:10 - Bun B doin his part in "Big Pimpin" - still dope.

10:12 - Fab's turn - meh

10:12 - Freestyle Steve on "The Way I Are" - he's not even on the actual song.

10:13 - Keri Hilson singin the hook, pitchy as hell and w/ a bad mic. Luckily she's way too fine for me to care.

10:15 - Turns out Missy's section actually saved the set. "Get Your Freak On" followed by "Work It"? Damn, my seated dancing got me sweating like I was grinding at a basement party.

10:16 - Seriously, enough is enough. Can someone please force Missy & Tim back into a studio together? Hip-hop desperately needs that dynamic duo back and puttin out that fire. Trey Songz is doin what he can to bring VA back post C. Breezy but IDK if he's gonna be enough.

10:21 - Sorry folks, always believed it & it's still true, Kelly looks finer than Beyonce (Kelly's currently on stage along side David Banner - who's crazy enough to think Mississippi still has a chance to make noise in hip-hop)

10:21 - Slim Thug, Paul Wall, Chamillionaire (well at least we know he's still alive) perform to rep Texas. Granted they should've have Bun B. & Scarface come out but all in al TX did their thing. I can't believe it but somehow, Houston put together a better/stronger/smarter line-up than ATL for Hip Hop Honors: DIRTY SOUTH!!! Seriously, who was in charge of the ATL booking?

10:29 - Donald Glover intro'ing 2 Live Crew. Funny dude, dope MC - go look him up: Childish Gambino/MC dj (www.donaldglover.com)

10:30 - I stand corrected on my previous statement, 2 Live Crew may be one of the most necessary & influential acts EVER in hip-hop. Theier fight for free speech in music allows for your favorite artist to do what they do.

10:33 - Not to mention they're the reason I was able to feel up on a girl's booty for the 1st time in the 6th Grade. "WHO DAT, WHO DAT HOOCHIE MAMA?!"

10:35 - 20 years later 2 Live Crew gets rewarded for cussin' & songs about "coochie poppin" while Tipper Gore's marriage crumbles amid rumors of a sex scandal. See what happens when you act like the moral majority, children? God bless America & God bless Hip-Hop.

10:39 - Oh...that's right Craig Robinson's the host, hadn't seen him in like...the whole damn show. Totally forgot, my bad.

10:40 - Damn, either Chilli is REALLY tiny or Lil Wayne's baby is gonna be the size of LeBron, cause Lauren London is stacked (both on stage introducing the next pre-taped interview with Atlanta's Organized Noise).

10:42 - Organized Noise/Dungeon Family is a beast. Outkast, Goodie Mobb, TLC, Cee-Lo, Ludacris - DAMN!!!

10:44 - OH SHIT NELLY LIVES!!! Him & Murphy Lee (dressed like Big Boi circa '98) did Outkast decent justice.

10:45 - Watchin' "POW" makes me really sad Goodie Mobb can't squash their beef.

10:47 - Asher Roth just ran on stage to perform Luda's "Saturday". The entire audience responded by looking around as if they were wondering why the security wasn't running to get the "drunk white kid" off the stage.

10:50 - Watching the Organized Noise set (aka a glorified Outkast concert) again makes me wonder who was in charge of booking the Atlanta acts & how quickly after the 1st rehearsal were they fired.

10:53 - "What ever happens in Miami, never happened" - Craig Robinson finally says something both funny and clever. Not to mention true, I've got a few friends (and their wallets) that wish this were the case.

10:53 - Apparently Trina's really tryin to give up her scrippa past for this new glammed up Diva of hip-hop look - good luck.

10:55 - Once again ATL is gettin' out-rep'd at a celebration for the DIRTY SOUTH (WTF?). Miami brings out Trina, Flo Rida (ok not a top choice but his singles are def more current & popular than any of the ATL's folks), Rick Ross & Mr. "We Da Best" to shut down the show.

10:56 - Damn, DJ Khaled is even out out "hype mannin'" Lil Jon, what is this world coming to.

10:58 - And just for good measure MIA brings out Pitbull to make sure even the light-skinned "I got Puerto Rican in my family" girls were shakin their ass.

11PM - Craig Robinson screams some sort of good night to the crowd to finish off his grueling night of "hosting".

Well thats that, the 6th installment of VH1's Hip Hop Honors has come and gone. And once again, this year's was a bigger disappointment than the year before. It's not for lack of effort but by not having a large number of the acts your honoring actually appearing I'd say it's pretty damn hard for anyone to take it completely serious. It's great in theory but I think it's a little bass ackwards. Maybe Viacom shouldn't host a hip-hop ceremony on their network that didn't start airing videos by black artists until like 8 years ago (just a thought for starters). In any case, it's like what a High School teacher might tell her student; "good effort, nice idea, but you just didn't fully think through the idea." So for next year, I'd suggest this, let the biggest hip-hop radio DJ's produce the show. Thats right Big Boy, Angie Martinez, Funk Master Flex, Ed Lover and whoever blasts the lastest Wakka Flakka Flame in Atlanta and Ace Hood in Miami should have full say over the event from beginning to end. And maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to actually watch the artists record the songs you're honoring actually perform the songs they're being honored for. Again, just an idea, I'm just spitballing. See you next year!

Peace Up, Peace Out

Love of the Leak

It's damn near Summer, and as we all know "It's the most wonderful time, of the year" (at least for music any way). All the hot summer anthems flood the radio...er, MySpace pages. Your artist's new videos are put in heavy rotation on the music video channels (actually I mean the YouTubes, Hulus, Vevos and artist's websites). And all the albums we've been waiting for all winter finally hit the record stores...or really are put up on iTunes for fans to cherry pick through. Ok yes, the way we enjoy our summer music has changed (no I'm not bitter, ok maybe just a little) but nevertheless it's still a great time to be a music fan.

But my favorite change in the way we get our heads up on music is the "unofficial leak". You know, when a song comes out either online or some late night radio show, and the artist comes out publicly to say that they didn't ok it's release but other then the initial statement they never REALLY try to find out how it got out (assuming it actually is wel received, if it tanks then they're ready to sue every 16 year old with a computer and internet access). In any case we've already seen some great leaks and early releases alone this week, here are some of my favorites:

Drake released his newest "single" of the often delayed "Thank Me Later" (this title is getting more and more brilliant, cuz with all the delays and release push backs we might not be thanking him sooner than 2011 - thank you I'll be here all week). In any case "Light Up" feature's Jay-Z and has the latest and greatest in hip-hop going back and forth, Drake talking about the trials of his "come up" and Jay tryin to let him know what's yet to come. In any case it appears that Hov's appearance forces Drizzy to step his game up unlike any other Drake lyrical co-star has yet to do. If this is what "Thank Me Later" is really going to sound like Drake really might have some "Thank You's" coming sooner (at least from me anyway).

The self-proclaimed master of "uncorny pop", Mike Posner, has finally released his first official single on J Records. The man who once had his following fiening for the perfect "Drug Dealer Girl" recently released his single and video for "Cooler Than Me" for his debut. This electric dance anthem doesn't stray too far from this mix tape hits that made him a well known name amongst college kids over the last couple years. With features with the likes of Kid Cudi, Big Sean and Wale already in his back pocket, Poser's debut might be dope enough to make me if not forget, at least overlook the face that he went to Duke, and if that happens, shit...look out JT, you might wanna get back in the studio real quick.

Lastly, we've got "Mr. I Don't Mean To Interupt" that's right - Kanye West. His new release "Power" is speculated to be the first single from his highly anticipated 4th album in the College Dropout started series "Good Ass Job". "Power" sounds just like a pre-crazy (actually still crazy just not "drunk as hell on MTV" crazy) record full of heavy drums intertwined with smooth soulful samples. In any case, Mr. West shows how you SHOULD come back after a major social fuck up (Chris Brown we're ALL looking at you). Take a few months off, stay as far away from the spotlight, and when the world has damn near forgotten your name drop something so undeniably hot that the only negative the public remembers you doing is dating Amber Rose (seriously 'Ye, her fades damn near better than yours). In any case, had other "urban pop stars" followed this rule maybe him singing the national anthem at a boxing match wouldn't further make him and his career a laughing stock.

Long story short, I know there are tons of other leaks and debut's that have come out recently the likes of Vampire Weekend, Curren$y, Big Sean, Ne-Yo and even The Roots have tipped their hands with regards to their new music. But if this is what we've got coming to us, then regardless of how you choose to pick up your tunes, bogus leaks, legal downloads or even (gasp) archaic physical album puchases (I know crazy that someone would actually leave their computer for their music) - then this is gonna be one hell of a summer.

Peace Up, Peace Out.